Underfeeling

The reason we are overweight is because we overeat.  We consume more calories than our body needs for fuel.  

We get frustrated because we know we eat too much but we can’t figure out why?   I often hear things like –

• “Other people don’t have this problem, what is wrong with me?

• “If only I didn’t love food so much?”  

• “I will never be able to trust myself around food.”

• “I always sabotage my goals as soon as I set them”.

• “I will always be overweight.”

Sound familiar?

The truth is, we are overeating to avoid feeling.  What emotion might you be trying to avoid?  Boredom?  Anxiety? Overwhelm? Shame?  Fear?  

Food is often what we use to buffer away or avoid feeling uncomfortable.   We get a dopamine hit when we consume something pleasurable.  Our brain has been conditioned to desire something tasty because on the other side of that cupcake or ice cream is perceived comfort or safety. The more we reward our brain with pleasure, the more it continues to crave it.   The cycle continues….

This is normal.   You are human!  The dopamine hit dull’s the negative feeling temporarily but then after, we compound the negative feeling with the net negative consequence of a few extra pounds on the scale.  Also, we think that by dulling the feeling or distracting ourselves in the moment with a tasty snack makes the emotion go away!!  Sadly, it is still there and if not processed, it intensifies.  It will continue coming back until it is processed fully.  

So my friends, I will ask again – when you find yourself standing at the pantry, mindlessly eating at 8pm when you clearly aren’t hungry, what are you feeling?  

If you can identify the emotion, is sitting in it and processing it an option?    Knowledge is power.   If you knew you were safe, and that the emotion is simply a vibration in your body that is trying to tell you something, or get your attention, how would you show up differently.  

When you brain has an “urge” to eat something so it can feel safe, is it available to experience this “urge” and not give in to it?   It’s a practice to notice when this comes up during the day and decide if you want to give in to the immediate gratification of the primitive brain or not.  

The other option available is to accept being uncomfortable in the moment (because we can do hard things) or “delay gratification”, in order to create the results you desire in the future.  The choice is always within your control.   The reason we often give in is because our primitive brain will always go back to survival mode, to feeling safe and comfortable.  This will continue to keep us taking action as we always have, and thinking thoughts we always have, instead of stepping into becoming  the “YOU” you desire to become.  

What do you truly desire?  What if being uncomfortable is the currency to your dreams?  

Feelings are just a vibration in your body and all humans feel negative emotion 50% of the time.   What if you weren’t afraid to feel bad?   What if the worst thing that could happen is an emotion?  

How would your life change?  How would you show up at work?  In your relationships?  When tackling a new health goal?  Starting a new career?  

We don’t have to fix our feelings or make the negative emotions go away…. we just have to begin feeling them!  This is where true freedom is found.